My Hair Loss Story

The tears would not and could not stop. I stood there in front of the mirror terrified of brushing my hair for fear the brushing would cause more of it to fall out. I asked myself, the universe, a higher power, God, anyone to just tell me what I needed to do to make this stop right now.

How do I stop my hair from falling out?

I felt ashamed that my body was doing this to me. Yes, it happens to men all the time. But does it actually happen to women? And why don’t any women I know talk about it?

I went over everything in my mind which could possibly be causing the hair loss. I listed everything that was different in my life and it was a long list. I’d just changed jobs, continents, countries, apartments...my entire world was new and different.

But I was still me, Lisa: a 30-something year old with a passion for adventure, food, fitness, and a soul connection with other humans.

This is not at all what I expected when I moved from South America to Asia. I arrived in Shanghai brimming with wonder and delight. If you would have told me ten years ago that I would be living in China right now, I would have laughed at you.

I had no desire to travel to Asia, let alone live there. But here I was embarking on a new chapter in my life and feeling overwhelmed.

I was living in a city of over 20 million people and feeling more alone than ever. How is that even possible? Yes, I was building friendships, but I wasn’t quite feeling secure enough in them to share what was happening with my hair.

How can I fix a problem if I don’t know why it’s happening?

If I developed a problem like dairy intolerance I would be like, “I’ve got this. I am going to cut out dairy from my diet so I no longer have horrible tummy aches and diarrhea.” Or if you told me I had sleep apnea and needed to sleep with a special machine I would say, “Ok, let’s do this.”

But my hair was falling out and I had absolutely no idea why. I didn’t know how to make it stop.

Back in 2012 when I moved to Bogota, Colombia. My hair was shiny, healthy, and thick.

In 2015 I was living in Shanghai and went to Kyoto, Japan for holiday. At this point I had lost a huge amount of hair and was devestated.

Hair loss in women is common

Like most people would, I first turned to the internet. I learned quickly that I was not alone and that many other women struggled with hair loss. So it really was a thing. Hair loss can be caused by pregnancy (I was definitely not pregnant), thyroid disorders, anemia, postmenopausal issues, autoimmune diseases, skin conditions, and stress.

According to Harvard Medical school, a whopping 1/3 of women experience hair loss at some point in their life. Hair loss tends to be different in women than it is in men. Women experience overall thinning and typically don’t have a receding hairline. All this was true for me. I was experiencing hair thinning and I kept wondering what my body was trying to tell me.

I absolutely hated having to wash and brush my hair because I was so dang scared that the process would make more of it fall out. If you’ve played Jenga, you know how delicate each move you make is. If you pull a piece out the wrong way, the entire tower crumples down and there’s nothing left.

Things were getting worse

That’s how I felt about my hair. I felt that if I so much as just touched my hair, it would ALL start falling out. I was having extreme anxiety about washing and brushing it so much that it began to affect my daily self-care routine. By this point, my hair was not only thinning, but oily and dirty, too.  

Doing something about it

Realizing that I needed to take action, I made a hair appointment, scheduled a doctor appointment, and reached out to my health coach. Meeting with a new hair stylist is always scary because it’s a new relationship and things can go well or horribly wrong.

Can you relate to trying a new hair stylist and having it go very, very wrong? Tell me about it in the comments. I’d love to share experiences.

I remember sitting in the chair and the assistant taking down my messy, oily, and dirty ponytail. As my hair fell down so did the tears. I explained how I’d just moved to Shanghai and how my hair would simply not stop falling out.

I wanted to brighten up the color with highlights, but I was scared having chemicals on my hair would cause it more damage. The loving stylist spoke with me and handed me tissues. As I tried talking through the tears, she explained she had worked with other clients who had similar issues in China and she would be extra careful with my hair.

The doctor will see you now

Next it was time to see the medical doctor. I wish I could say that the doctor answered all my hair loss problems. Unfortunately, this was far from the truth. My hair had previously been so darn thick (thanks, Mom, for your genes!) that when I went to my medical appointment complaining about hair loss, the doctor said he couldn’t see it and didn’t know what I was upset about.

At this point I began feeling crazy and wondering if I was just imagining everything. But I knew deep down inside that it was real and I needed to continue along my health journey to get my body back to its natural state of balance. 

I turned to my health coach

I knew who I had to turn to next. My long-time health coach, Lacy Young, who had walked me through gut health stuff while I was living in South America. Lacy listened, supported, and walked the journey with me as I began to talk about how dang scary my hair loss was and what was really going on.

If y’all don’t know Lacy Young, take a moment to visit her website. She is a brilliant coach, retreat leader and meditation facilitator. Whatever it is that you may be going through in life, she will help guide you to balance and joy.

A message I was ignoring

I absolutely believe that your body will do anything to get your attention and continue to do so until you listen to it. My body was clearly shouting at me saying, “You, yes, YOU Lisa. If you don’t slow down and change something in your life, I will continue to let go of this long beautiful hair of yours. So, the time is NOW. Stop. Get quiet and still. Figure out what you need to change.”

That October I flew from Shanghai to Los Angeles for four days to be a part of my best friend’s wedding. Having my hair done with all the other bridesmaids was an emotional moment for me. I asked the stylist to please be gentle with my hair because I was experiencing hair loss and I was scared.

After the wedding, I remember my sister driving to Los Angeles to meet me at my hotel.

We sat together and I showed her how much hair came out as I brushed my hair. We sat there and I cried. She couldn’t believe her eyes. We hugged and knew that talking about what I was going through was making it less scary.

Making changes

I started adding a few things into my regular routine to encourage hair regrowth and to stop more hair loss. I began using an ayurvedic hair oil, I started taking Biotin pills and I changed my shower filter. Many women in China warned me that the water is quite bad and it’s common to experience hair loss as a result. That’s why a new shower filter was a must. 

I also knew a huge piece of my healing was to get a good work-life balance. Things had got out of control and I was the only one who could change it. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. But how we choose to spend them is up to us.

I was putting considerable pressure on myself to have everything perfect and it’s simply not possible. My work-life balance was completely off and I needed help resetting how I spent my time. I met with my boss and he supported my decision to work fewer hours. Slowly I began to pull back and make myself a priority. Over the following six months I made small changes and took baby steps where my health was my main concern.

That Christmas when I flew home to California, I saw my old hair stylist, Kimberly, in San Diego. I can’t remember if I cried during that appointment, but what I do remember is being so ready to chop off my hair. Y’all, I’ve always had long hair except for two times in my life. Once when I was five years old when my brother cut it and once in my 20s.

In december of 2015 I met with my hair stylist in San Diego, California and we decided to chop off my hair off. I remember feeling happy about my hair for the first time in months.

A year later in december of 2016. After a year of healthier work and Life boundaries I felt more like myself. My hair was growing back and stopped falling out. Hair looks extra thick here because I have clip in extensions here.

I was ready to let go and trust the universe. Sometimes letting go is just exactly what we need to do. The act of cutting my straggly, thin hair was an absolute must. It felt so freeing letting go and having her cut my hair. I literally felt lighter and brighter. 

At this point I was not only doing several self-care rituals, which I like to call radical self-care, but I was also doing intentional things for my hair. I firmly believe if I hadn’t got quiet, reached out and taken the right steps, my hair loss would have continued.

Why I’m Sharing My Story

Again, and again I hear of women who have arrived to Asia excited for a new chapter in their life, but then they are in tears because they are experiencing hair loss. Their confidence and self-esteem are negatively impacted as they try and navigate through life in a new city. Your hair is such an important part of your identity it’s hard to just brush it off. For most women, it is the first time in their life anything like this has ever happened.

If there is one thing I know for sure it’s that everyone of us is on a different health journey in life. If you are experiencing hair loss your journey may be different than my journey.

Have you experienced hair loss in your life? Have you noticed your hair loss getting better or worse? Do you have any tips or tricks that worked?

Feeling happy and healthy. My hair in 2020 is shiny and thick